Homeless Are People Too

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(This picture was taken by Orin Borgelt on my 5th Homeless Journey)
 
Saturday, September 21st I will embark on my 7th Annual 24/Hr Homeless Journey on the streets of Kansas City. I will be joined, for the first time, by Dr. Dennis Putinski, who is not only a leader at our church but a retiree who has a heart for the homeless.

 
I have been both criticized and praised for my efforts to raise awareness for homelessness. I specifically do it to help the Kansas City Rescue Mission as they prepare for the holiday season as well as the winter season. That is when it is really tough to be homeless, especially here in Kansas City. The criticism does sting, to be honest, I never like being criticized, but obviously I haven’t let it detour me from doing what I feel compelled to do in helping raise awareness for the homeless.

 
I would like to clear a few things up, to help the ‘critics’ understand better, some will never understand hence the reason they are  critical. And after that I will give you the main reason I do this every year. 

 
1)      “This is all a PR stunt.”

Absolutely! That is exactly what it is; I am attempting to raise PUBLIC awareness for the homeless problem in United States and Kansas City! This doesn’t do anything for me personally, or even for the church I pastor! We do not grow one bit from doing this PR stunt! We are a small church of a couple hundred people, have been a couple hundred people for many years. We do not get a single dime for this PR stunt either! It actually cost me personally to do it each year.  

2)      “You are exploiting the homeless.”

In my understanding of what it means to exploit I don’t see how we are “exploiting” anyone. I really don’t. We are not benefiting from this at all. All the benefit is to help the KC Rescue Mission, which in turn helps the homeless. And we are not treating anyone ‘unfairly’ in the process. I could understand this if I was getting something from this, other than sore feet and a crick in my neck.

 
     3)      “You just like being on TV.”

Yes I do, but only because I have a message I believe in! I was invited to be on a big time talk show a few years back about a stupid topic, and I declined! It was more of a Springer type talk show and the content was racy, so I declined. And if I just wanted to be on TV to be on TV, then I would be on TV a lot more often. I like TV only because it gets me in front of more people I can potentially help in some way. And lastly, when we first did this, 7 years ago now, I didn’t notify any news stations, they found out via someone else, and then they requested I send a press release every time I do it so they can run the story.



4)      “It’s not hard to live homeless for one day.”

Of course! It is not at all difficult, I have never said it was a difficult 24 hours. It’s easy really, and honestly it’s fun. Fun because of the stories we hear and the people we meet. I will do this every year until I am unable.

 

WHY I LIVE HOMELESS

 
The bottom line for me is that I am privileged. I would be considered ‘rich’ by most of the world since I make $50,000 a year! You and I know that that doesn’t make me ‘rich’ in the way we think of being rich, but to most of the world’s population it is rich. So living homeless, even for 24 hours, gives me an opportunity to hang around people who are not privileged. People who have nothing but the clothes on their backs and the items in their grocery cart they push around. I on the other hand would need a semi-truck, or two, to hold all my stuff. And living homeless each year helps to remind me how blessed (or lucky) I really am. And how that me being blessed is not just so I can get more ‘stuff’ but so that I can help those who are less fortunate than I am. I believe we are blessed to be a blessing.

 
FOLLOW ME

If you would like to FOLLOW my journey please do so through one of these websites or social networks.

 
Twitter: @TimmyKC

Instagram: TimmyGibsonKC

Personal Facebook: /Timmygibson
 
Church Facebook: /mercychurchKC
 
Website: timmygibson.com
 
Church Site: MercychurchKC.com

Good Grief Continued

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Painting By Tom Matt (www.tommatt.com)
 
It’s been over a month since my sister passed away and time does seem to help heal the hurt a little. I do not believe “time heals all wounds” but it does seem to take away the overwhelming sting of it all. I guess time is like distance, the further you are away from it the harder it is to see, but you still know it’s there off in the distance.
 

Losing someone isn’t something you just ‘get over’ but you ‘get through’ and that is just it, you must get through it, and go through it, because you’ll never ‘get over it’ completely. You’ll always miss that person, and even hurt at times about them being gone. I still miss my sister, and still cry at times about it. But I know that she would want me to go on and live my life to the fullest.
 

There are weird emotions that go on in and around this whole death thing, on one hand you feel obligated to be sad that they are gone because to not be sad or hurt seems to not honor their passing. Almost like, “if I’m not sad, then I don’t miss them or love them.” It’s like when people say, “I worry about you,” it’s almost like they are saying, “I love you, or I care about you.” And to not worry is to not love or care. Maybe it’s the same here, we feel that to not be sad or keep hurting for those who have passed is to not love or care. And maybe we feel to not keep hurting is to forget them? Of course this is not the case! Getting through the pain of losing someone is not forgetting them, it’s really the best way we can remember and even honor them and their life. Living our life well in memory of them is the best gift we can give them and the world we live in.
 

To help me I can only think of what I might want for those who survive me when I die. I want them to miss me, sure! But I do not want them to miss me so much that they cease to live life. I wouldn’t want my family or friends to shut down emotionally, and just cry about my being gone. I hope they would shed a tear, of course, even belly-cry initially, but I would want them to go on. I can honestly say that if I died tomorrow (which I pray I do not!) I would eventually want my wife and very best friend of 20 years to re-marry. Not a month after my passing, lol! But eventually I would want her to find a wonderful man to love her and love my children.  It would  be selfish to wish anything else. And trust me I haven’t always felt this way.

 
WHERE AM I TODAY


I am doing well, and with each day I continue to process through the loss. It’s fascinating that through this whole process I have become, in general, more thankful. I am thankful for each breath I breathe! I find myself thinking, even when things that would normally stress me out, it could always be worse! I am also aware that life is so very precious and I should live each moment with gratitude in my heart!  

Simple Life

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I’m not sure if it’s my age (I’m 44) mid-life, but lately I have been longing for a more simple life. And frankly, I’m really not sure what that looks like just yet. Does it have anything to do with where you live? How much money you have? What you do for a living? How many kids you have, or don’t have? I know people who live in small towns and they are just as hectic as I am in the big city, so that’s not it. I know rich people who are frazzled, and I know poor people who are frazzled. I don’t feel I am living a simple life as much as I could, or should right now, but I am working on changing that in the months and years ahead. What about you? What do you want? How do you want to live your life? Are you living the life you want?

 
I know that the more stuff I acquire, or achieve, the more un-simple life seems. I know that when I watch Leave it to Beaver or the Andy Griffith Show I love for a more simple life; life before cell phones, email, video games, and social media.  Trust me; I’m not dogging all these great tools of technology that we all use and enjoy! And the "yester-years" weren't all perfect, I know that! But, there’s got to be a balance to it all. And maybe it’s just me that is feeling this way, but I would assume that I am not alone, and you too need to find the balance in it all too; the simple life.

 
I miss having more regular family meals around the dinner table, taking walks in the park, baking pie, reading a good book, making homemade ice-cream, going fishing, taking bike rides, playing catch, kicking cans, hanging out with good friends, etc. These are things I don't do enough of, and I am working on getting them back into my life. I guess really what I need to do is slow down, eliminate the clutter, and enjoy my life! Maybe you should too!

Is Heaven Real?

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I am, as a pastor, asked often about my views on Heaven. People are always asking me questions like: Is it a real place? Will I be married there? Will I recognize people there? Can I have sex there? (Guys are always asking me that!) What will we do in Heaven? Where is Heaven?
 
On one hand my answer is simple, I don’t really know! I mean who does really know for sure, I mean really! How can we, you can’t vacation there and return with pictures to tell about it. People have claimed to have died and gone to Heaven and then returned to write a book about it. I am not saying that it didn’t happen or that it’s not true, I am just sayin. They can’t prove they went to Heaven, and no one can prove they didn’t. So, is Heaven real?
 
Let me start with the question; is Heaven Real? Yes, I do believe that it is. I believe in a literal Heaven, a place you go to after death. I believe it is a place that God prepared for us by His own hands (obviously His creative power of words, not that He actually swung a hammer and handled a saw,) and that Jesus died to get us there. I can’t upload pictures of Heaven to my instagram or faecbook, but there are ancient manuscripts (The Bible) that give some insights to what Heaven will be like. But it only gives us a glimpse, it’s definitely not conclusive.  It’s a place that I am sure will surprise, and amaze every minute we are there!
 
WHAT HEAVEN WON’T BE
I truly believe that Heaven will not be a place we float around while singing worship songs written by Hillsong (I love Hillsong songs, I’m just sayin!) Honestly, I love Jesus with all my heart, but I don’t want to do that!
TO THE POINT
I believe that Heaven will be basically a place where all that is will be good, pleasing, healthy, whole, loving, forgiving, etc. All things good. A place absent of all evil, and all that comes with evil. Now, on all the other questions about sex, marriage, kids, etc.  I don’t know for sure, but I believe that Heaven will be must like our existence now, but again, just absent all things bad. Heaven will be full of all that God intended! Nothing will be broken or out of place. No pain. No heartache. No death. No Loss. No lies. Only peace. Only goodness. Only love. A perfect place!
 
WHAT ABOUT HERE AND NOW
As you know, our world – here and now – is broken.  We are a broken people, and earth is broken too. We can do and should do all that we can to “save the planet” but more importantly we should do all that we can to “save our lives.” Jesus is the one who can help us put the broken pieces of our life together. I challenge you to trust in Him today!

Good Grief

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Just a couple weeks ago my sister, Kimberle Rae Gibson, died of an accidental overdose in her home, alone (and that still makes me cry every time I think of it). It has really been difficult to reconcile my emotions.

We had been close at times and distant at other times. I loved her all the same, in the good and in the bad; though I wish I had showed it more. Too late now! Dammit, that hurts big time! I can’t even begin to imagine how much my parents are hurting … I am trying to be there for them. It sucks.

Those that knew her knew she had her challenges, but beneath it all was a lost little girl with a heart of gold. I don’t say ‘lost’ in a spiritual sense, because she had a relationship with Christ no doubt, but she struggled in this life. As we all do.

I have never lost anyone so close, I mean I have lost great grandparents, a grandmother (Nonny,) but you expect that. I even lost my bio-logical father, Glen Hakanson, in my late teens, but I didn’t know him all that well, so it wasn’t so hard, at that time, for I had a great Dad in my life that had filled that role. He died at home, alone. As I have reflected on my bio-dad’s death what bothers me the most is that he didn’t get to spend time with me. I bet he really missed me.

This became real to me during my son’s Basketball Game last year. My son was running down the court with the ball, of course, and the joy I felt from getting to watch him play, and getting to watch him grow up is beyond words! Nothing greater! (Of course equal to watching my daughter do the same!)

And all of a sudden I had this thought, “My bio father didn’t get to do this with me.” And I lost it. I began to sob uncontrollably. I had to leave the gymnasium, face planted in my hands holding in my loud cries. It sucked! I was jacked up for the rest of the day.

I was completely overwhelmed with sadness, and the realization of how he must have felt, and how he would have longed to be with me. I know he did. He had called me at various times in my life crying letting me know he loved me and missed me. I didn’t get it at the time. I was emotionless. I didn’t feel his pain, or even mine. I do now. If I only knew then what I know now, it would be different, and I could let him know that I loved him too, I just didn’t have a relationship with him. And frankly, I wasn't encouraged to love him, if anything I was discouraged. And that sucks!

Good grief, grief hurts!

The good news is that I am still wrestling with all this stuff, even seeking counsel to walk through it all in a healthy life-giving way. Thank God for God! I don't know how people do life without Him.

If I have learned anything, at this point, it would be this:

First, as much as it depends on you, seek to have a healthy relationship with your family. If at all possible, if not possible, make sure to do what you can be proud of and feel good about, when they pass. Secondly, love deeply those who are true friends, and run from those who are not! During this time it has become increasingly clear who my real friends are, and who aren't. And lastly, if you have faced loss, grief is a process that you must walk through ... it takes time, and looks different for different people. There are no easy answers, and I am sorry for your loss, it sucks! But, it is a part of life and we'll make it through! Amen? Amen!

Me and my sister on Halloween! 

Me, my bio-dad (Glen) and my mom.


4 Healthy Way to Respond to Complaints

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When we are in a relationship there will be times we'll do things that hurt each other's feelings and we must communicate those things to our partner in a way they will truly hear you, as well as when they are communicating to us ... how we listen! HOW we communicate those things matters, as well as how we LISTEN to those complaints matters! This is an area most all of us struggle with getting right, but when we do, it can make these kinds of encounters go a lot better than they normally do.

 


So when your partner brings a complaint to you … here is what to do …


 


1)          Ask QUESTIONS for better understanding.


 


DON’T: Belittle or criticize your partner for complaining.


 


 


2)          Acknowledge the FEELINGS behind your partner’s complaint.


 


DON’T: Defend yourself.


 


This is very difficult to do, because we all want to defend ourselves, and “set the record straight!”


 


 


3)          Take RESPONSIBILITY for the problem.


 


DON’T: Deny responsibility or flip it or spin it back on your partner.


 


 


4)          Don’t RUN away.


 


DON’T: Run away, give up, withdraw and quit… fight through the fight … no pain no gain.

 
 
*Material Taken from Dr. John Gottman's book , 7 Principles for a Healthy Relationship!