Childish

I was playing a game with my 9 year old son the other day and when he was winning, which was most the time, he was having so much fun, but when I would win he would be unhappy and want to quit playing.

I am reminded of some of my interactions with adults who play life that same way; when they are winning, or getting their way, they are happy and excited and want to keep playing, but if they are not getting their way, or aren't winning - watch out. It's one thing when it's a 9 year old child, and a completely other thing when it's an adult.

So what is the problem? Emotional insecurities. Adults who can't play by the rules, or follow a leader, or do what their Boss says (even when they don't agree) or listen to the advice of others is just acting like a child. Let's be honest here, we all struggle with this from time to time, but if it's a constant struggle for you, then you need to grow up. No one wants to play the game of life with a 30 year old child.

Do I Need Church?

I have people ask me; "Do I need to attend church to be a Christian?" I always laugh because typically these are people not currently going to church, and the answer I always give is, "well no and yes, but let's talk about why and what to look for in a church." It's like my son asking me, "Daddy do I need to brush my teeth to live?" Ha ha! I mean how do you answer that? No you don't son, but then again, yes I wish you would so your breath won't melt my eyebrows! 

Now you are thinking, "Timmy of course you think people need to attend church, you are a pastor!" Ha ha! I understand that, but it's just not true! I tell people the same thing whether I am looking to invite them to Mercy Church (church I pastor) or send them to whatever church is in their particular City and State. I feel strongly about this actually, and would attend church regularly even if I was not a pastor. And I can prove this because I have only been a minister for 20 years and previous to being a pastor I attended church and invited others to do so too.

Here is why I feel strongly about it; first church is NOT a building, church is people. So by asking "Do I Need Church?" is really asking, "Do I Need People?" And this is why I say a loud YES! Also church represents God, so Do You Need God? And again I say YES! Now I realize that not all Christians or Churches do a good job a representing God. Maybe they are more of a reflection ON Jesus then they are a reflection OF Jesus. I know, I have been there, I was raised in church, I have seen it all, and I do mean all!

I have had several bad experiences with Dentists, but guess what? I still go to the dentist for check ups, cleanings and fillings. I don't go the ones who drilled my tongue, or stabbed my cheek, or the dentist who had an office that resembled more of an auto repair shop then a clean sanitary dentist office.

Church is about, or should be about, growing in our relationships - with God and others. It's really that simple. I have to admit people who are anti-church and say things like, "I don't need to go to church to be a Christian!" They are in fact correct, but again it's like my son's question about brushing his teeth!

I have found that people who believe you don't need to go to church to be a Christian miss out on others helping to refine and challenge their thinking.  Sometimes when we are left to think alone and believe alone and have no one to say, "dude, that's a little weird bro!" we miss out. This has at least been my experience anyway.

Q: Where Should I Go To Church?

A: A place you like! I mean let's be honest, you're not going to like everything, or every decision the church makes, that's not possible! That's life! But if you feel like you fit, enjoy the people, the leadership, the style, the beliefs, etc. Then jump in with both feet and support the church fully! Now I will say I would highly recommend belonging to a church where you can be you, no hiding, lying and wearing a mask. Life is too short for that junk. 

Hebrews 10:25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

I Don't Like Church

I can't even tell you how many conversations I have had with people who use to go to church. They tell me that they don't care for church (organized religion) or Christians much. I must admit that I felt much the same and really that was a primary reason I started Mercy Church.

I was raised in church, it's all I've ever known ... I know the good the bad and the ugly. I do want to say that the people are sincere, for the most part. They really love God, they just don't express that love for God with wisdom. Many times they are mis-guided and over zealous.

In my experience church or religion has made the not-so-important things super important and the real-important things not so important. Just one example where religion or church get it wrong; when we make the exterior (the outside) more important then then interior (the inside,) the heart is most important.

So I will leave you with this question, where is your heart today?

Romans 10:10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

Hanky Panky Reflections

I am looking back on the last 28 days, which was The Hanky Panky Challenge, and I am glad we not only issue the challenge to couples each year but also take the challenge. And it truly is a challenge, only people who haven't taken it would disagree ... who cares what they think, they don't know. Ha ha!

The Hanky Panky Challenge is so much more than just "sex," though that is what many think it is or want it to be, but it's more about Companionship, Connection, Intimacy, and ultimately about creating a more passionate relationship with your partner. I am a firm believer that LOVE is not a feeling (I almost added the word "just" before the "a feeling," but I couldn't because love is not a feeling, even though feelings are involved in love) love is so much more than that. Now, love creates a lot of strong feelings, absolutely! I have many great "feelings" about my spouse and for my spouse, but that is only a small part of the relationship we have, and I personally believe that the "feelings" we feel about and for one another is a result of our commitment to love each other.

In my line of work (Pastor/Teacher/Counselor) I encounter couple after couple who have, "lost that loving feeling" and they do not know what to do (I truly do sympathize,) and many times they walk away to look for that loving feeling with someone else. That is so heartbreaking, and so shallow. Now there are reasons people get divorced that are totally legitimate, but many are not, let's just be honest. Some of the things I've heard categorized as "irreconcilable differences" are lame. I believe that most things are reconcilable, especially with God's help. 

DISCLAIMER: I am not judging those who have been through a divorce! I have many wonderful friends who have gone through a divorce, and I was there to walk them through it. Divorce sucks, it hurts and it's no fun! Do not allow the things I am saying here to stir up guilt and condemnation in you over what is done and over with  This blog entry is for those who are currently married that I am trying to encourage to make their marriage work.